One of my favorite Bible reading tools is to ask:

“What does this passage tell me about God? What does it tell me about who God is?”

That may sound obvious, but far too often, I make myself the center of biblical passages.

“What does this passage tell me about how I’m supposed to believe? What does this passage tell me about how I’m supposed to behave?”

I’ve long struggled with the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus and the disciples (and probably other followers) descended upon their house in Bethany:

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (NLT)

I feel like the story is unfair to Martha. Both because I tend to be a Martha, seeking approval through doing, and because someone had to feed those men and their culture decreed that it would be the women. I’d come to an understanding that it’s a cautionary tale about not letting your service make you bitter, and about thinking Jesus is more impressed with you when you do, do, do. It’s a story about trying to work out your own salvation.

But what does that story say about Jesus? Not about me?

Jesus does not think the only way for a woman to serve him is in the kitchen. Jesus does not expect women to be bound by their cultural traditions.

This may not sound all that shocking, but in the U.S. these days, conservative evangelical Christian men feel like they are having a moment and are all over social media telling women that they need to become quiet and demure and re-learn to serve men, and “trad wives” are all over social media performing their labor-intensive kitchen duties in pretty dresses and perfect makeup.

So the absolute simplicity of Jesus in this story is refreshing. He was given the opportunity to say,

“You’re right Martha. Mary, what are you doing? You dare to sit here as if you belong with the men, talking about the kingdom of God! Get in the kitchen and help your sister.”

But he didn’t. He said,

“It’s more important to listen to me and rest in my presence.”

Do I want Jesus to have said, “Disciples, you get to listen to me all the time and Mary and Martha don’t. Get in the kitchen and rustle us up a meal so they can be with me.”

Yes. Yes, I do. But Luke doesn’t report that. And Luke doesn’t record the disciples’ response to this. Were they shocked? Annoyed? Did any of them leap up and go to the kitchen so Martha could sit at Jesus’ feet? I’d love to know. Maybe I will some day.

But for now, as a follower of Jesus, I take heart that Jesus doesn’t expect women who follow him to follow tradition. He approves of women who flout tradition. Jesus thinks it is a great use of our time to listen to him and rest, even revel, in his presence.